100 E3 2019 Opinions that you don’t care about

“E3, god I wanna go”
– Hideo Kojima

Here are 100 E3 2019 opinions that you probably don’t care about.


Pokemon Sword and Shield Direct – 05.06.19

1. Corviknight looks badass, and the whole football stadium thing reminds me of Pokemon Stadium so i’m down, but i’m still not sure about how linear the game looks, as I wasn’t as much of a fan of that in Sun & Moon; I like being able to explore each route. I suppose the wild area will make up for that, which looks great.

2. Free camera control (at least in the wild area) is the next step for Pokemon as a full-console game, and it graphically looks to me more detailed (or at least stylised in a way that makes it appear more detailed) than the Let’s Go games were.

3. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about them getting rid of the random encounters, in favour of the Let’s Go style, but ultimately I think I prefer it. I really enjoyed chilling and watching TV whilst shiny chaining, it reminded me of Animal Crossing, and I can’t wait to do that again. Not that I’ll need to if we get Animal Crossing!

4. Shout out to the Rocket League Summer announcement – some amazing DLC there for fans, and that choice of music in the trailer was excellent.

Stadia Connect – 06.06.19

5. Never really thought about it but no downloads, patches etc. really is awesome.

6. Someone put “the datacentre is the platform” on a t-shirt.

7. Have some friends that are really excited for Baldur’s Gate. I’ve never played any of the games in the series but that gross cinematic was brilliant. Reminded me of the Kings Landing castle scene from that last season of Game of Thrones.

8. “Stadia is democratic”: I love these descriptors. People hate these buzzwords and shite at E3 but I live for it.

9. 35mpbs for 4K, 10mbps+ for at least 720p. Latency is the kicker, but it looks really promising and it is awesome to be fair.

10. A tasty little mix of games in here for launch, with Gylt from Tequila Works and Ghost Recon/The Division. Looking forward to giving the data centre a try.

11. John Justice’s glasses are ones I wish I could pull off, electrifying.

12. I hate wasabi tried it once and it tasted horrible. Wasabi peas taste good though. Oh this is because of the greenish controller is called wasabi colour. I love Google’s naming conventions with their hardware.

13. A good show from Google, quite Nintendo directish but it was an good show.

EA Play – 08.06.19

~Shhh I actually watched this after Xbox because I was busy on Saturday but dont worry~

14. Big up Greg every time, did an amazing job at hosting. You’re an inspiration mate. And also Julia, Mike, all the team.

15. I’d like to say I took credit for the Podracing drop because I asked Greg on Instagram and he replied “noted”.

16. I’m a simple man, I see Greg Miller and I click.

17. Some say he’s the game director of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

18. I’m not gonna talk about the other stuff because aside from FIFA I don’t really play the other games. Cool stuff though.

Fallen Order

19. I used to think Order 66 was a tragedy. Now I realise it’s a comedy.

20. Saber lock on looks great.

21. An Imperial refinery on Kashhyk Is the setting for the gameplay showcase, and I really like it. Tying the game in with Forrest Whittaker’s character from Rogue One gives it a sense of connection to the new canon and I rate that, as we’re seeing planets like Kashhyk explored In a post-Empire era.

22. Remeber when Force Unleashed did the Vader prologue on Kashhyk?

23. Shelobs lair: these spider guys would have been a big help against the CIS but I guess they couldnt be controlled.

24. High ground meme.

25. The force freezing ability that Kylo has is usable and it looks like great fun. Cutting through troopers like butter looks great, but I’m really looking forward to more challenging and complex duels with the inquisitor, grevious bodyguard looking ass geezers. Purge troopers, I believe they’re called.

26. Looks like Force Unleashed? Nah, looks like Jedi Power Battles mate.

27. Overall the demo didn’t blow my head off. It was a quite small and linear portion, but it was enough to get me hyped for more. I was sold on the game anyway because I’m a Star Wars fan, but if the story matches up to how the gameplay looks then we should be in for a treat.

28. I rate the fact that they were so stark in saying no about Cal being a Sith in any way. I just dont think they actually showed that much off aside from the gameplay reveal. Awell, who cares, we’ll have the game soon enough.

29. Big up to all the IGN guys always giving us great coverage

Microsoft Conference – 09.06.19

30. The character design on bleeding edge was breathtaking. You beauty.

31. I am so in for Minecraft Dungeons. I love how Minecraft is now a franchise. The gameplay looks amazing and in the same way I’ve had countless hours of multiplayer experiences with Minecraft itself, I’m sure to have more with both dungeons and earth.

32. Big Phil Energy: Biggest showcase ever, 60 games and 34 on game pass!

33. Fallen Order: Killing k2so? Yes. Cal had Luke’s binoculars did you notice?

34. Blair Witch looks great. And it’s from Bloober Team, great guys behind Observer

35. Keane Runner 2077 is peak E3. Release date is 16/4/20, Great Scott!

36. [BattleToads] Who could forget that pause music. Avgn anyone? Cartoon style kind of reminds me of tmnt/ castle crashers.

37. I tell you what mate, I fucking love a sizzle reel me.

38. Game pass on PC is awesome, can’t wait to jump in to that and actually play Halo for the first time.

39. Game Pass? I’d buy that for a dollar.

40. [DoubleFine joining Microsoft Game Studios] Gotta love Tim Schafer – was wondering why Phil was wearing the psychonauts shirt 🤫🤫🤫. An exciting partnership for sure, and it’s great that DF will have that support from Microsoft as they approach the final hurdle on Psychonauts 2, and it takes the pain of having to pitch to loads of different publishers off their shoulders, meaning they can just work on their great ideas. 

41. FUCKING YES DUDE LEGO STAR WARS LETS GO – goosebumps. I’m as hyped for a new Lego Star Wars game as I am for Fallen Order and I won’t apologise.

42. [12 minutes] That camera angle is really creative, love the Shining reference with the carpet too.

43. [Way to the Woods] Reminds me of Sheltered but in more of an urban setting, and that piano is so reminiscent of BOTW. I’m in. 

44. [Gears 5] Not a gears guy myself but big up that cinematic trailer, and Xbox for the show itself and the set they’ve made. Poor Xavier Woods stuck in the hive.

45. [Elite pad series 2] That’s the best advert for a controller I’ve ever seen. It was like an Apple commercial mixed with a car ad.

46. Troy Baker fronts Dying Light 2, spring 2020: great frontman for a great concept.

47. Would it be a Microsoft conference without a car? At least it’s Lego.

48. [Lego Forza DLC] What an Ingenius idea. Lego Speed Champions is a stupid name, they should have just called it Lego, but the way the cartoonish bricks contrast with the amazing graphics of Forza is insane. Big up great idea that mate.

49. Listen to the melody playing at the start of the State of Decay Heartland trailer and tell me that isn’t the rains of castamere from Game of Thrones.

50. I dont think I’d heard of smilegate before the announcement of Crossfire X. Am I an ignorant sod?

51. Quite a few cinematic trailers in this conference. No complaints from me tbh, I’m partial to a cinematic trailer.

52. Seeing Miyazaki’s name alongside George RR Martin is pretty mind blowing. The trailer didn’t blow me away as much but I can’t wait to see more of that world, Martin’s creativity colliding with Japan is an incredible idea.

53. That’s two shows that have said data centre.

54. Microsoft flight sim is peak 2003.

55. Great teaser for HALO, I’ve never played Halo before other than a couple of rounds on the 360 at friends houses and even I thought that was nostalgic.

Bethesda Showcase – 09.06.19

56. Getting Pete Heinz to double dap his leg when walking on the stage is the sort of in-joke content I watch Kinda Funny’s E3 coverage for.

57. The way they handled Fallout 76 I thought was brilliant, Bethesda made the show about the gamers, came out ahead, announced that the game had issues, and proceeded to announce two awesome new additions to the game, completely free. I can’t wait to jump back in and play nuclear winter.

58. Ironically, when they were talking about how good the community played together, that’s what I didn’t really like about 76. I wanted it to be more like DayZ where it felt there was an actually risk to being in the world with other, unpredictable people, but there isn’t.

59. Blades coming to Switch is great, and again I love Bethesda’s commitment to the platform, but i’ll probs only play it on my phone anyway like. New update is good, liking the new additions such as jewellery etc.

60. Deathloop is getting high praise from a lot of people, and I’m looking forward to seeing more. Dave Fennoy has a voice like hot butter.

61. The Orion streaming development looks great, and honestly the way they hyped it up by going through their previous innovations put into context effectively how important it is, rather than hear-say. Latency is the kicker I feel with game streaming, and so having people devising tools such as this is exciting.

62. Doom is such a hype game, the gothic, ultra-violent gameplay showcase is arguably among the best at E3.

Limited Run Games Showcase –  10.06.19

63. Still waiting on that physical SuperBrothers and INSIDE.

64. We did it, not one, but both Podracing games are getting physical releases. E3’s over. we can go home. Fucking amazing. Now just bring them to Switch. 

Ubisoft Conference –  10.06.19

65. The woman at the start of WatchDogs looks like Shirley from EastEnders.

66. [WatchDogs] Permadeath is awesome, and seeing Camden market lit up in neon lighting is really cool.

67. Now that Aston whoaa mama, that’s a way to get me in. Yeah overall the permadeath recruitment mechanic is excellent.

68. Alright guys we get it, you like to swear.

69. Is that second guy supposed to be British? Or Austrailian? He sounds like Tormund.

70. I’d be interested to see how many characters are shallow, because to be honest if they made every, EVERY character deep and meaningful then surely it would be to the detriment of gameplay because it would take forever.

71. [Mythic Quest] “Give me a chip” “No, you’re not getting a chip!”. If it’s anything like Silicon Valley I’m in.

72. I thought the Rainbow Six thing was a Kingsman Collab because of the music.

73. Jon Bernthal is so badass, and his character seems to be a mix of Shane leading the pack and the punisher with the battle acument. He has the special operatives training of the punisher, and the skewed way he thinks things should be run (Shane). And damn that dog is well behaved

74. Ubisoft’s Terminator integration was like a wet fart compared to the Gears of War reveal.

75. That Just Dance trailer was quite funny to be fair. At this point it wouldn’t be a Ubisoft conference without a cringey Just Dance segment. Plus, IT’S ON WII.

76. Big props to Ubi for supporting For Honour for this long. I had an amazing time with it when it came out, and the combat was really in-depth. Still, I suppose that won’t be enough to get me back and tbh I can’t be arsed with the fat download.

77. Cinematic trailer for Gods and Monsters with no gameplay and it’s coming soon? Idk about that one chief.

Kinda Funny Games Showcase 10.06.19

78. My fave games shown in this one were: Wave break, One Night Stand (cool rotoscoped effect), Solace State, Etherborn (Mario Galaxy meets Monument Valley), Skatebird (a cute bird on a tech deck), Lonely Mountains Downhill, Superliminal.

79. KF legit teased to Schafer in the week with the Psychonauts backdrop and he shows nothing? Brilliant.

Nintendo Direct 11.06.19

80. [Luigi’s Mansion] The hotel is a great setting. I wasn’t as much of a fan of the separate smaller houses in 2, and liked unlocking more and more rooms as I went, so I hope it’s more like that. Multiplayer looks epic.

81. [Link’s Awakening] Absolutely beautiful, and it’s coming fairly soon so cant wait. Hearing Tal Tal heights, one of my favourite songs from the Zelda series, gives me chills on violin.

82. Dampe is the unsung recurring character of Zelda.

83. The custom dungeon building addition looks great, I hope they bring the ability to share that perhaps. The streetpass functionality of Link Between Worlds was a great feature and so some sort of co-activity aspect would be good here too, but ultimately I don’t care.

84. [Switcher] The Witcher 3 coming to Switch is amazing, and it might be the first time I get to play, but ultimately if I was going to play that game I’d only player it at home anyway, and I’d just buy it on PC because it looks like the graphics have taken a hit.

85. The resolution on Contra looked really rough, but at least we got the collection.

86. You cant use the poke ball plus fully with Sword & Shield. I mean considering you need an extra analogue stick to control the wild area it makes sense, but idk I’m kinda triggered that I spent like 30 quid on a controller for one game.

87. I’m really happy that we’re getting an exclusive Marvel Ultimate Alliance title, and I rate the cartoony look of the characters, but the gameplay just doesn’t look interesting to me at all, save for the customisable team.

88. It’s a shame that Cadence of Hyrule got leaked, and I feel like Nintendo are only releasing it in 2 days because they want people to watch treehouse maybe? I honestly don’t know.

89. Animal Crossing was Animal Crossing. It looks absolutely incredible in HD, and it’s one of my most anticipated games, but it didn’t show very much. I’m guessing we’ll get a deep dive in another direct, or maybe a specific AC direct in like October or November.

90. [Animal Crossing] I’d be bummed about the delay but it’s a very stacked fall coming up and when that game comes out it’s gonna take up all of my time so I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait. Sword and Shield’s wild zone and shiny chaining will fill the gap!

91. The Banjo reveal was brilliant, but In complete honesty I don’t give a shit about Smash reveals anymore because I’m not playing the game.I feel like Nintendo are using them to generate hype, which is fine!

92. What a way to end, a sequel to my favourite game of all time is in the works. I’ve written about this for Switch Player!

93. “We have more games in development beyond what we’ve shown you today. I’m looking forward to the day we can introduce them to you”. Yeah so am I mate so am I.

94. I feel like 70% of the games they announced didn’t have a specific release date lol.

95. I’m out of opinions at this point, but we’re so close to that satisfying 100, aren’t we?

96. Here are some of my most anticipated games to finish out.

97. Of course Link’s Awakening and Sword & Shield on Switch.

98. CyberPunk 2077 is game of the show for me I think, and the moment of the show with the Keanu reveal.

99. Death Stranding wasn’t at E3 this year, but I think it has to be my most anticipated game of the year. I can’t wait for it, I really can’t.

100. We made it. Find a blessed image of Hideo Kojima wearing the sought-after CyberPunk E3 bomber jacket below. Thanks!

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